How not to hurt her??

[James]

ok, i really love my girlfriend, and she loves me the same. we dont ant to rush into sex, but it will happen in time. we are both ready but it is not on our priorities.

anyways moving on. she is a virgin, and i know her cherry is popped but i also know the 1st penitration will be tight. I really want to make her 1st time special. I need some1 who understands fully how to deal with this. from position, to insertion and how to make it as comfortable and enjoyable for her as possible. I am, not being big headed but above average size when aroused and this may cause even more problems.

so can some one please give a almost step by step thing it will be much appriciated.

[nelle24]

Nobody can give you step by step instructions, really, because everyone is different. Just take your time. Make sure she's very aroused. If she doesn't naturally produce enough lubrication on her own, don't be afraid of using lube. Take your time. Get her off once or twice before penetration, if possible, with your fingers or mouth. Tell her how sexy she is, how much she turns you on. Tell her how much you love her. And when you penetrate her, urge her to relax and breathe. Just like anything else, breathing deeply when there's pain keeps you from tensing up and making things hurt worse. She's tight because she's a virgin. It'll take some time for her body to adjust to sex. Be patient and it'll be much more enjoyable for the both of you. Really, the most important thing is not to rush her-she'll tell you when she's ready. Also, don't put too much hope on the first time.. Sex improves with more experience.
Good luck!
_________________
I'd stop eating chocolate but I'm no quitter

[James]

thanks for the advice. i just didnt want her to be put off sex or think its because of me that it hurt. were close enough to talk about these things so when the time comes we'll be ok. i just needed some help

[kona]

well im proly the newest and youngest one on here (im hoping its fine for "younger" people to be on here... and me and my girlfriend love eachother a ton and i same as james dont whant to hurt her and i remember that .... im a virgan and she is aswell and i what our first time to go "well" i know it probly whont be perfict but i whant to be propared for what is to come ... and i dont whant to be a father at a young age and i garontie she doesnt whant to be a mom ... (im 14 and shes turning 16 in december ) we probly whont have sex for a wile yet but i still whant to be propared for when the time comes and any advise to help me out id apresiate ... (as ive been reading u guys are kinda like the experts) and its bad when your sex ed teacher is to embarest when u ask em this question to tell you and then have your hole class laugh at you ... im shure the people here would be much more mature and i dont feal atal embaresed to talk abought it i meen its a fact of life and u might aswell be safe (advise for other younger people reading this)

[nelle24]

My dear first timers,

The experience of sexual intercourse for the first time can be romantic, exciting, sensual, fun, passionate, awkward, embarrassing, uncomfortable, disappointing, or any combination.
First of all, don't rush into things. Everyone's first time should be special and joyous and it cannot be such if you rush into it. You both have to be ready for it, both physically and emotionally.

To minimize the discomfort or pain and maximize the pleasure of first intercourse, both of you need to take the time to explore one another's bodies and fully arouse each other before penetration. You'll be on an upward learning curve as you find out what feels good or not to each of you.

Many girls (and their partners) worry about discomfort or pain the first time they have vaginal intercourse, and not all of them have this experience. People have varying levels of tolerance for pain or discomfort. If a girl does have discomfort, she and her partner need to be sure that she is aroused, that she has lubrication, both her own or some extra.

Another reason for physical discomfort is that you two are just beginning to learn how each of your bodies fit with one another's. The following tips might be fun to experiment with as you both prepare for your first intercourse:

First of all, make sure of appropriate protection.
Focus on touching, kissing, caressing each other in ways that increase arousal before penetration.
Take it slowly.
Talk with each other about what feels good and how you both like to be touched.
Add a dab of water-based lube on the vulva, the opening of the vagina, inside the condom before it is unrolled, and outside on the penis or the condom before penetration. Reapply as often as necessary to ease any discomfort and increase pleasure.

It's not uncommon for the end of the experience to be less extraordinary than expected. Taking your time, talking clearly, focusing on how good you two feel, and learning/practicing are the best ways to allow the two of you to enjoy this newfound intimacy together. Even when unexpected events occur, a couple's first experience with intercourse can be meaningful, positive, exciting, pleasurable, and/or fulfilling for many couples.

Just let things go their natural flow, don't rush them. Sex is a beautiful and special thing when both partners are 100% ready for it, both physically and emotionally.